A Cursed Blessing
by Utsaah
Summary: Merlin and Uther have been married for nearly five years, but lately Merlin hasn't been feeling well and Uther doesn't know what's happening and he also doesn't know why Merlin's magic isn't healing his Consort. What they will find out will come as a suprise to everyone.
1. Chapter 1

**Another Merlin/Uther story from me. However, unlike You're Mine, this story ****_will _****be having Merlin possessing Magic ****_and_**** Uther knowing about it. Their relationship is consensual from both parts, so there will be ****_no _****Merlin/Arthur slash, only friendship. This story will also (eventually) involve MPREG, so for the ones who don't like any of the subjects listed before, please turn away now.**

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><p><strong>~oOoOo~<strong>

_INTRO_

**~oOoOo~**

Uther woke up slowly from the light that was streaming in through the cracks of the curtains and while he was still only half awake, he could hear his husband taking quick short breaths and that was the thing that made him wake up instantly. His eyes fell on the bundle next to him; his husband was lying with his back towards him and had wrapped himself into the blankets and furs that were on top of the bedding, but Uther could still see that he was shivering and cursed silently about that. He had somewhat hoped that their ordeal would've been over now, but it seemed it didn't.

"Merlin," Uther said softly and huddled closer. When he placed his hand on top of Merlin's head and hair he immediately pulled it back when he felt how hot his husband felt, and how wet his hair was. Uther didn't wait any longer and got out of bed, threw on a morning coat, and when opening the door, he yelled to the first person he saw to get Gaius.

Turning back to the bed, he went around it and sat down at the side of the bed and tried to pry the blankets away from his husband, because he was certain that his husband wouldn't be getting enough air when being bundled into those same blankets with only his nose and hair sticking out from above.

"Merlin, dear, come on. Open your eyes."

Uther managed to get some more breathing room for his husband and waited anxiously. This _illness _his husband seemed to have for the past days didn't seemed to get better any sooner and he was at his wits ends at what to do anymore.

Slowly Merlin's eyes opened and he looked up to Uther with glassy unclear eyes, and his face scrunched in discomfort.

"Hey," Uther softly caressed Merlin's shoulder, still not liking the temperature his husband seemed to have. "Come on, let's have you sitting up for a bit."

Merlin didn't say or do anything, just let himself being handled into a semi-sitting position with his back against the headboard. He just felt tired and sick and he didn't know what was going on with him. He tried using his magic, but it seemed like it was cut off or something like that, like he couldn't quite grasp it. He knew it was there, he could feel it, but he couldn't use it and it made him feel anxious.

He whimpered softly when Uther left his side, but Uther returned quickly with a small bowl of water and a soft cloth, which he wet with the water before gently dabbing around his husbands face with it. He kept Merlin close to his side, who welcomed the comfort of his husband, and the coolness of the cloth.

Not much time later the door opened with Gaius entering. Uther kissed his husband on the hair before wiggling out from underneath him with the promise he would be back soon.

"And?" Uther asked when he was standing at Gaius' side and far enough away for Merlin to hear their conversation. "Did you find the cause of this… _abomination _yet?"

"I'm afraid not, Sire."

"But how!" Uther yelled, then pulled himself together… for his husband's sake. Merlin never liked ut when he would be raising his voice at other people and had admonished Uther many times already for that. Uther pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply. "He isn't healing on his own, and he's telling me that his magic isn't reacting, _at all_. There must be _something_ in your books about this, Gaius!"

"We are trying to find a cure, Sire."

"Well try harder than!"

Gaius bowed, murmuring, "Sire," before walking away.

Uther's attention was pulled back to his husband again when he heard another whimper and when he turned he saw that Merlin was already half-leaning over the side of the bed, deeply heaving. Uther returned to the bed with just a few paces and was just in time to put the chamber pot under his husband before he began retching the already little stomach contents. Uther gently ran an hand over Merlin's back, telling him soft reassurances.

Merlin placed his head on Uther's chest and silently wept, mostly at feeling so powerless. "It's going to be alright, love." Uther said while stroking Merlin's sweat-clad hair. "We're going to find a cure for this and we will find the ones responsible for this and execute them."

**~oOoOo~**

"Father," Arthur greeted, albeit somberly. "How's Merlin?"

Uther only shook his head and that was enough of an answer for him, he touched his father's shoulder with his hand, hoping it would send the message of comfort. He and his father were never ones to exactly extend touchy feelings to one another, but it seemed suiting for Arthur to do it at this point in time.

He knew how much his father cared for Merlin and he had eventually come to terms with it, after needing much time to actually adjust to it. Merlin had been his friend before he and his father had been getting involved with each other and he especially had been troubled about the part about Merlin becoming his step-father, but Uther, like Merlin, had told him that he actually didn't needed to see Merlin that way, and that they were happy enough with just his blessing. He had given him that and he and Merlin were still getting along just fine despite the switch in position.

And that was already years ago, his father and Merlin were already happily married for close to five years. In fact, their anniversary was just a few months away and everyone was getting excited for it, until Merlin seemed to get sicker and weaker all of a sudden.

It had started with a loss of appetite just three weeks ago, then came the fatigue and since about three days came the retching and the sweating.

And it weren't just Arthur and Uther who were worried, the whole castle was affected when they heard about the illness of their King's Consort and Court Sorcerer. Merlin was loved throughout the whole of Camelot and even beyond that.

Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts by his father's hand in between his shoulder blades, pushing him towards the council chamber.

Despite Uther not having a single span of attention because of his husband's situation, he also had to be King for his people. And he knew that Merlin wouldn't like it when he would find out that he had been neglecting those duties because of him. That thought brought just the tiniest amount that could resemble a smile to his lips, because he could already see Merlin standing in front of him with his hands on his hips and his foot tapping a steady rhythm on the floor stones.

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><p><strong>I know it's short and it might be a bit confusing right now, but don't worry, more back story will follow. Like how Uther found out about Merlin's magic (it was outlawed back then). I'll probably begin the next chapter with that.<strong>

**Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Super-fast (please don't hate me for it!) ****summary**** of Uther and Merlin's history. I don't want to dwell on it too long.**

**I'll warn for some references about abuse in this chapter (mostly only in the end), it's more a blink and you'll miss type of thing, but I'll warn for it just in case.**

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><p>Uther sat at his desk, trying to concentrate on the letters of State in front of him, but his attention kept being pulled towards the bed where his husband was struggling in his sleep and Uther had nothing that he could do to help him. Gaius had tried many concoctions to help relieve the pain, but it only helped for short periods of times and Gaius didn't knew what else he could do to make Merlin experiencing less pain.<p>

Uther sighed deeply and took off his crown to run a hand through his hair. He and Merlin had been so happy these past five years, despite their rocky start, and Uther knew he couldn't lose another Consort, he wasn't sure if he would actually be able to cope if he would lose another love of his. It was hard enough after Ygraine had died nearly thirty years ago, and he blamed Sorcery for it. That was, until Merlin came along.

Surely, his viewing on magic wasn't turned within a snap of his fingers, but Merlin had been able to get through to him and let him see that magic itself wasn't evil… although it had taken him a lot before he had finally accepted that. He didn't even let Merlin explain, his mind was too clouded by his perception of magic and his reaction to Merlin telling him he had magic had resulted in Merlin running far away from him. And Uther still blamed himself for what happened to Merlin afterwards, if he hadn't found him when he did… who knows what would've happened to Merlin.

Uther puffed out a long breath. Their start was indeed not ideal, heck he would never thought that he would fall in love with a commoner, a peasant, and above all his son's manservant. His own father would certainly whack him over the head if he would've still been alive.

It had started about six years ago. At first he didn't even know the boy had arrived until Gaius brought it up that his nephew had come to stay with him after his mother had died and he did not had any other family since his father's whereabout wasn't known. Gaius asked for a position in the Royal household for his nephew and Uther had barely listened to Gaius, just hummed his agree and impatiently waved him of with the flick of his hand.

It wasn't until the feast the following week that his eyes caught sight of the dark haired, pale skinned slender boy. It wasn't that uncommon that a servant would caught his eye who he usually would bed not much time after that, but no one gave him that significant rumbling feeling in the pit of his stomach like Merlin did when he had first seen him. Neither did he know that this was the nephew Gaius had been telling him about.

He had been watching the boy all night, running around to serve wine to one Lord after another until he couldn't hold his urges anymore and beckoned the boy closer with the idea to let him top off his goblet, but mostly to have the boy near him. Merlin had responded immediately, pouring in the drink with great precision and then Uther had told him to stay with him the rest of the evening to serve him. His first intention was to get Merlin to follow him to his bedchamber at the end of the evening, but somehow he had stopped himself from doing so.

He was just struck by the boy, didn't know what it was but he knew that there was something _special _about him. He had been thinking of ideas how to keep him close without it being too obvious. If word got out he would be falling for a peasant, his reputation was gone and other Kingdoms would laugh at him.

But even so, it did hardly matter to him. He wanted to get to know the guy, so he made him Arthur's manservant so he would be fairly close at all times.

It even went as far as secretly watching him read in the library and that was the moment he knew that he was smitten.

It were a few weeks of pining later when there was an incident one night. Someone suddenly started to attack Arthur with a dagger, but Merlin had pushed Arthur out of the way at the last second, before Uther himself even had any time to react. Merlin had gotten hurt, his arm got slashed in the process and the wound was deep. Uther shouted the order to obtain the attacker and then didn't waste any more time; he fell down onto his knees and began to press his Royal cloak against the wound and scooping Merlin up in his arms to bring him to the physician. He did not care who saw him.

After Arthur's shock about almost being killed had died down, he had followed quickly to Gaius' chambers and what he saw there was a sight he had never seen before. His father had been pacing back and forth in front of the cot, his eyes watery from tears.

And suddenly Arthur's eyes opened and the odd behaviour that his father had shown in the past weeks were beginning to become all clear to him. He started to realis that his father had feelings for Merlin, his servant. He was… disgusted at first, and confused and had no idea what he should do with the information he had just enquired. So he went back to his room to think about it.

When Merlin woke hours later, Uther was there. Merlin thought that Uther had seen him using magic, the slowing of time, in order to stop or at least divert the attack and that Uther was now there because he would be sentenced to death immediately.

But all Uther had done was asking how he felt and then leave after Merlin told him that he was alright. What Merlin didn't know was that the only reason Uther went away that quickly because Uther didn't know how long he could keep himself in hand. All he wanted to do was the gather the raven-haired up in his arms and never let go of him.

Uther hadn't visited any more after that but had done everything he could to keep Merlin as comfortable as possible during the two weeks of bed rest and when Uther knew that Gaius would be away for most of the morning doing patient visitations, he took his chances and went to personally visit Merlin who was surprised, yet still scared, to see the King standing in his room.

He hadn't expected to hear the King pour his heart out.

He _had _noticed Uther's glances towards him, but every time he saw the King looking towards him, Merlin had been looking around him and saw a serving boy or girl standing close to him and he thought that Uther had been looking at them, _not_ him. That having said, Merlin had started to secretly daydream about the broad-shouldered King because those piercing eyes were doing some things to him. He obviously knew nothing could ever come from it… until that day that the King decided to tell him the same thing he had been feeling for Merlin as Merlin did for Uther.

Their first kiss came that day, although it was filled more with desperation than anything else.

Over the following weeks Merlin and Uther had grown closer, and Uther had begun to court him, while still keeping their relationship of sorts a secret. Mostly due Merlin's request… and even though they were careful, Merlin did suspect that Gaius had known something about it.

Especially when Gaius had set him down one day at the table and had raised his trademark eyebrow and asking him what the hell he was doing. That Uther would execute him without blinking if he would know that Merlin was a sorcerer.

That night in bed, Merlin had lots to think about and he knew he couldn't hold his secret for Uther any longer, even if it would cost him his life. If Uther really loved him as he had professed so many times already, he would accept him for who he was.

But of course Merlin had been too optimistic when that time actually came. Uther hadn't been accepting, he was furious! He was first denying whatever Merlin had said, before throwing goblets against the wall. Merlin tried to reason the fact that magic itself wasn't evil but the wielder, but when he saw the King's anger he didn't stay, he feared for his life. So he ran, taking the small bag he had already prepared (just in case) with him and going to the stables where he had already saddled his horse beforehand.

He didn't thought he would ever see Camelot again.

Uther had been miserable ever since Merlin had left and when his rage had died down he saw the wrongs in his way. He trusted Merlin, with all his heart, and never did Merlin show any malice in any of his actions. Perhaps there was truth in Merlin's word about magic itself not being evil… it was just so hard to compromise after he spent nearly thirty years thinking otherwise.

After a week of not having Merlin around, and reflecting about magic and its user, Uther sent out search parties to look for Merlin. He couldn't be living without him, even his own son had told him so. Days after the incident and Uther moping around the castle, being aggravated, Arthur had come into Uther's room and told him that he _knew_ about his infatuation for Merlin and that he had seen how Uther had changed when Merlin was in his life, even though it had been secret at that time.

Uther himself joined one of the search parties when weeks of no news came, and made Arthur Prince Regent in the time he was gone. When there went a month by and no sign of his love, Uther lost hope and told the men to get back to the castle. They were near the border between Mercia and Camelot, when they caught sight of bandits. And while finding bandits wasn't their mission,Uther couldn't let them run freely in his Kingdom and had instructed the party he was with to raid the camp and take all of them prisoners.

The bandits were caught by surprise and had no chance against the Knights of Camelot. When Uther and his men searched the camp for any other people they neared the tent in the middle of the camp. In there, Uther caught sight of the person he had spent looking so long for. Merlin had been tied with his back to a pole in the middle of the tent and had bruises all over his face and who knew what other injuries. Uther rushed towards him and fell down onto his knees next to Merlin and carefully cradled Merlin's face in both his hands. There came a whimper and Merlin's eyes had slowly opened, with a tear trickling down his cheek when he saw Uther in front of him.

Knights had already been busy to cut Merlin loose from the pole and when the ropes around his hands were slashed, Merlin fell forward like a ragdoll against Uther's chest, who held him tightly and kept softly murmuring questions about what had happened to him. Merlin hadn't answered, he was too exhausted and too famished to have any energy left to answer questions. On that note, Uther had carried him to the bedroll in the tent and ordered for some food and water to be brought.

All the knights complied without asking questions. Over the past weeks they've had learnt Uther's true intentions of why they were searching for Merlin and didn't oppose it in any way, despite the large class difference between their King and Merlin. In fact, they were aware of what kind of effect Merlin had on the King months before Merlin disappeared. They later on learnt why Merlin went away in the first place; it was because Merlin possessed Magic… yes, news travelled fast in Camelot.

But _everyone _knew Merlin's nature. There wasn't a bad bone in his entire body and the people's view on magic slowly started to change.

Uther learnt from the bandits what happened to Merlin and had killed them on the spot when he heard what they had done to him.

When Merlin had woken up some hours later he was terrified to see the King and so many knights standing around him and was frightened that they had come to take him back to Camelot to execute him, but that changed when Uther ordered everyone out. He was still distrusting towards Uther's motive of being here and curled himself up in the tightest ball he could manage and flinched every time Uther moved. Uther had started to apologize and telling Merlin that he still loved him, _in spite _of the magic he possessed.

That brought him to his next and probably most important question about why Merlin didn't use his magic to free himself out of the bandits' hands after been captured for more than a month. Merlin's answer was simple; he had sworn to never use his magic again after he had to flee Camelot. The only purpose for his magic ever was to protect Camelot, Arthur and Uther.

Uther's heart broke and couldn't believe that Merlin had vowed such thing. His eyes were opened even more and he knew now that magic wasn't evil, because _no one _would keep himself in this situation if they had the power to get out of the hands of bandits who beat him and sometimes used him to for their own pleasure.

Merlin was still exhausted from the whole ordeal and had soon fallen asleep without knowing what went on in Uther's mind.

Uther had gathered his men, took Merlin in front of him on his horse and set out towards Camelot where he let Gaius treat any wounds, which were mostly only superficial with the exception of one or two. Gaius observed that Merlin was malnourished and exhausted and would probably need some days to get more alert.

When Merlin woke after being asleep for nearly five days, he didn't know what hit him. He was in a plush bed with soft linen and the softest pillows known to mankind and when he recognised the room as one of Camelot's guest chambers he sat up as quickly as possible, trying to make his leave. As he was clambering out of the bed, the door opened and the King came in.

Merlin had gasped loudly at the sight of Uther and when Uther came towards him he screamed and trashed when he King held him in an embrace. Uther tried his best to shush the man in his arm, while Merlin's mind kept repeating to him that he was going to die.

Only when Uther suddenly blurted out that the ban on magic had been lifted, Merlin stopped thrashing, although it was mostly due to shock and he passed out just from that revelation.

It had taken Gaius and Arthur days to comfort Merlin and telling him that the ban on magic had indeed been lifted, although the penalty of death still stood for the sorcerers who used their powers for evil.

Uther hadn't been in Merlin's room for the days that Arthur and Gaius needed to comfort Merlin, he didn't want to panic the raven-haired any more than he had already done.

It had taken Merlin some weeks to be comfortable in Uther's presence again, which was mostly thanks to Arthur's help. Merlin's feelings for the King had never really gone away and although he was still not completely comfortable in Uther's presence, he one night felt bold enough to ask the King for a stroll through the Royal Gardens, Uther had been delighted and immediately accepted.

Merlin had kept his distance at first and Uther hadn't pressured Merlin into saying anything.

At the end of their walk, Merlin had pressed his lips against Uther's before he ran into the castle again. Uther had been shocked, but a smile started to tug on his lips. He knew that he and Merlin were on the road to recovery.

It had taken nearly seven months before Merlin and Uther were at the same page as they were before everything went downhill and the whole Kingdom did a sigh of relieve, so to speak.

Two months later, Uther had asked Merlin to be his Consort and Merlin had accepted with a whole-hearted yes.

The rest was history really. The Kingdom prospected under the King and new Consort and the Golden Age seemed to be within reach.

But all that suddenly seemed to fall apart when Merlin got sicker and sicker with every day that passed.

Uther was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a swift knock on the door, after which Arthur and Gaius entered with Gaius holding a big tome that looked like it had been around for hundreds of years.

"Well?" Uther pressed, standing up from his chair.

"Sire, we have found the cause of Merlin's sickness."


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't just stand there, tell me!" Uther rounded the desk he was sitting at to stand in front of the two men who had just entered. Gaius coughed uncomfortably until he moved towards the large table in the middle of the room and placed the dusty tome on it and opening it on the page he left a bookmark.

Arthur quietly stood by, while Uther was practically hanging over the elder man's shoulder, looking at the page which Gaius just turned over. Gaius cleared his throat once and looked at Uther, who then took a step back and went to stand on the other side of Gaius.

Gaius gave a small nod and then pointed at a part of the page in the book. Breathing in deeply, Gaius began explaining.

"Sire, it seems that the cause of Merlin's sickness is natural, not someone else's doing."

"Natural!" Uther nearly yelled, clearly interrupting the elder man in his explanation who was trying to continue. "How is _this _natural?" Uther continued, looking back and pointing to the bed where Merlin was still fast asleep with a high fever as he had been for the past days.

"Sire, please, if you just let me explain."

"Yes, father. Please let Gaius explain." Arthur pressed.

While pressing his thumb and forefinger onto his eyes, Uther breathed deeply in and let is softly out. "Alright." He said, nearly whispering the word.

"Alright." Gaius repeated softly and bent over the book once more. "This book dates back about a thousand years and this particular section is telling us about the Dragonlords." Gaius tapped the part of the text with his index finger. "It states that Dragonlords, no matter their sexuality or whether they're married or unmarried, will go through a transition that –"

"Transition? What kind of transition!" Uther became impatient.

"A physical transition, Sire. Internal to be exact." At Uther's knitted brows, Gaius explained further. "Between the first and seventh months _after_ a Dragonlord's thirtieth birthday, he will go through a transition that will make it able for them to be able to conceive, this to ensure that the Dragonlord's line will be continued."

Uther's brows grew closer and closer with each sentence. "What are you saying, physician."

"What Gaius is trying to say, father." Arthur interrupted, "Is that Merlin's body is preparing itself for the fact that he'll be able to conceive a child."

"It is rare, Sire." Gaius put in. "But not unheard off, as stated in some previous records. This book states several sign and symptoms in different stages, that fit perfectly with what Merlin is experiencing. Such as; fatigue, loss of appetite, fever, retching and nauseousness. And Merlin had his thirtieth birthday not yet three months ago."

Uther breathed in deeply, he couldn't quite believe what he had just heard. Merlin had always talked about having a family with him, but neither of them were women who could bear such child. If what Gaius was telling him was true, then perhaps their dream would come true. Although he was still not fully convinced that what Gaius was telling him was the whole truth.

"But what about his magic?" Uther asked, "Merlin had explained me that his Dragonlord powers and his magic were two different things. Shouldn't he be able to use his magic?"

"That is a good statement, Sire, which the book gives an answer too." Gaius turned the page around and tapped on a new line of words.

**_If the Dragonlord also possesses Magic, it will become dormant for the time it will take for the transition to become complete. The Magic will gradually return back in the two days that will follow._**

"But when is it complete!" Uther now yelled, which was answered by a soft groan. Uther immediately turned to the bed where Merlin was now moving slowly and Uther walked up to Merlin and saw him fluttering his eyes. He went to sit down on the bed, and pulled Merlin onto his side and slung an arm around him. His hand went up and down Merlin's arm in a comforting manner and his eyes kept moving from Merlin to Arthur and Gaius.

Arthur and Gaius moved closer towards the bed, with Arthur explaining further. "The book tells us that it'll take about a month and that there are three stages. First is the loss of appetite which Merlin experience three weeks ago, the second stage is fatigue which started the week after that, and the third stage is the fever, the nauseous feeling and the retching, which as we all know started about three days ago. We suspect that it might take another two to four days."

"Yes," Gaius continued. "The book tells us that when the transition is complete, all the symptoms disappear within the day."

"And he'll be… what. He's a woman?" Uther felt nearly as bad as what Merlin must've looked and he was confused about this whole transitioning thing.

"Not quite." Gaius answered. "It is true that Merlin will be able to conceive a child, _but _his anatomy stays practically the same, there will be no such things as a lady's anatomy apart from the womb. Even the birth will be different as we have to cut open the stomach to retrieve the child."

"What!" Uther thundered, earning himself a grunt and whimper once more. That made him calm down almost instantly and he bent down to press a kiss on top of Merlin's sweat clad hair. "I'm sorry love, I'll try not to shout." He whispered softly towards his not nearly conscious consort.

"Sire, it will be the only way. And his magic will be able to close the wound almost instantly." Gaius reasoned. "The rest of the pregnancy will be entirely the same as a woman's."

After a moment's thought, Uther flicked his hand outwards. "Leave us." He instructed and Gaius and Arthur bowed and walked out of the room. They had expected this kind of reaction of Uther beforehand.

Uther put Merlin in a bit more comfortable position and he himself undressed himself quickly before slipping under the covers and pulling Merlin close to him. He still felt burning hot and Uther rewet the cloth on top of Merlin's brow and placed it back. His mind had been doing overtime and if Gaius' explanation for the sickness would be true than Merlin would be better in just a couple of days. He just _hoped _that was true.

But even so, how would he ever be able to explain to Merlin what had happened to him once he would be awake and responsive enough to actually have a conversation.

That would be a thought for the next day though, for now he would keep the man he loves in his arms and giving him the comfort he felt Merlin needed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the ones who had gotten an email (around the 18th of November) that said chapter 4 was uploaded. It was a mistake from my part, because I accidently uploaded the newest chapter of another story of mine onto this story, and by the time I realised it and deleted the chapter, the email was already sent out. So yes, sorry.**

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><p>Merlin groaned and whimpered softly when he was picked up from the bed by Uther. It were three days after Uther had found out about the Dragonlord transition and the promise that it would end on its own, but there still was little change in Merlin's state of wellbeing.<p>

Uther hated to cause discomfort to his husband, but he had no other way to do it. He held Merlin in his arms and carried him behind the dressing screens and placed him on a plush chair and first nodded to his manservant before starting to undress Merlin. His manservant went to the door and let other servants in who started to renew the bed linens, and a guard to ensure no one came behind the dressing screens.

"Shhh," Uther cooed softly, his hand softly going through the raven black hair. "A bath will do you good." He proceeded by undressing Merlin and had to stop himself from wincing how thin his husband had become in just under a month. When Uther first saw Merlin, he was already thin to begin with but once they were married, Uther had made it his task to properly feed and strengthen his husband's body. He made sure that the Royal kitchen made meals with a variety of products, and he ensured that Merlin would get one on one training with Arthur to not only get more muscles and strength, but also so Merlin knew how to protect himself _if, _for some reason, his magic wouldn't react.

But Uther was now seeing the damage the sickness took. His body had become thinner and Uther knew that it must take at least another six months to a year to get the results of the nutrition and training of the past five years back.

But what Uther hated the most was the unresponsiveness of his husband. The lifeless posture, the glazed eyes (if they were open, his husband was usually sleeping throughout the day), and not having any energy. He missed the days where Merlin cheered him up with his senseless chatter after a particular boring Council Meeting, or the meaningful talks at evenings during dinner, or their closeness in bed at night, and just the teasing his husband loved to do to him throughout the whole day, that made Uther feel like he was twenty again, and he missed the moments early in the morning where Merlin would come back into their room with a tray laden with food, because no matter how many times Uther told Merlin that there were servants who could bring their breakfast, Merlin insisted on gathering it himself so Uther let him.

Uther sighed softly, he just missed Merlin being Merlin and hoped with all his might that there would come an end to this abomination soon.

When Uther had finished undressing Merlin, he undressed himself and gently picked Merlin up and lowered both him and himself in the bath that was slightly colder than normal as Uther had been told by Gaius that it might cool Merlin down a little bit. When Merlin's body first hit the slightly coldish water, Merlin began to whimper more loudly and tried to scramble up Uther's body to get out the water, but Uther held him close to his chest and lowered himself completely until he sat down and tried to reassure Merlin even more by running his hands over Merlin's body and whispering small reassurances in his ear.

Gaius had told also him that it would take Merlin a few moments before he would be getting used to the temperature of the water and Uther waited for that moment to begin and only then started to wash his husband down with the cloth that was laid out on the rim of the bath.

Servants were meanwhile ready with the changing of the bed and left the room quietly, together with the guard as there was no use for him to be _in _the room anymore.

Uther looked down, Merlin had his eyes closed and his head was resting against Uther's chest. Uther softly dabbed the cloth around Merlin's chest and softly asked, "Is it making you feel better, love?" He knew he was too hopeful to receive an actual answer from his husband, but when Merlin shifted a little bit to snuggle even closer to him, Uther was content enough with that as an answer.

**~oOoOo~**

The door opened slowly in the hope it wouldn't make any squeaking noises and Merlin entered just as slowly. He had to squint his eyes to get used to the mostly dark room, there were only a few sparse rays of the early morning sun to guide him through the room and towards the bed and in his hands was the tray with some bread, cheeses, ham and fruits. It was too early in the morning for most of the staff in the castle to be up and about, so every morning he would use it to his advantage for not being seen by too many people.

Slowly, he shuffled closer to the bed and saw his husband still deeply asleep and it brought a soft smile to his face. He set the tray down first and snuggled under the warm blankets again and then turned his head to the heavy curtains that were blocking most of the sunlight. With one golden flash of his eyes, the curtains drew themselves open and Merlin snuggled closer to his sleeping husband and placed his head onto Uther's shoulder who instinctively drew his arms around Merlin. He loved how his husband did that, even in his sleep, and every morning he loved to see his husband waking up, it was such a peaceful moment.

He knew that it wouldn't take long when the first ray of sun hit his husband's face and he already saw Uther's eyes move beneath his eyelids, which soon enough opened. Merlin immediately leaned up to plant a kiss on his husband's lips. "Good morning." He whispered to not ruin this moment of tranquillity, but that peace and quiet didn't last very long.

Uther sat up fast as if he was being burnt and looked at Merlin like he had just seen a ghost. His hands reached gingerly up towards him, but not quite touching.

"Uther?" Merlin cocked his head, and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Uther, please, what's wrong?" He scooted a little bit closer on the bed and he could see that there were some tears welling up in his husband's eyes. "Should - should I get Gaius? Because it doesn't matter that it's still early in th-"

The last of his words were muffled when Uther suddenly drew him close in a tight embrace. Merlin felt his husband's chest rise and fall in a fast rhythm and he tried to pull free to look at him, but Uther didn't let him, if only he just held tighter. But when Merlin heard him sniffle, he was determined and he pulled himself free and gripped Uther's hands into his own, his thumbs going over Uther's knuckles in a soft gesture. "Uther talk to me." Merlin said, very soft. He was confused at his husband's actions, because even if he was crying, there was still a faint smile on his lips and those two just didn't add up to each other.

"You're," Uther took in a shuddering breath. "you're alright. You're –" He couldn't finish his sentence, his tears were having the upper hand.

"That's it. I'm getting Gaius." Merlin said determinedly, and was already trying to slip off the bed, but he was yanked back at his arm and when he turned around there were lips smacked against his own in a deep kiss. Merlin had no idea what had overcome his husband, but he would find out.

"You're really alright." Uther whispered when he broke the kiss and placed his forehead against Merlin's. His hands moved around the slender man's body and up to his shoulders where Uther held him tightly, while repeating the same thing over and over.

Merlin, however, was still very much confused. "Uther, I love you, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Why wouldn't I be alright?" Merlin's mind went over each possibility, trying to remember if he had used too much magic or something or gotten into a fight? But he couldn't recall anything.

Uther looked at him, almost as confused as Merlin was just moments earlier. His hands went up to Merlin's face and he cradled it in his hand with his thumbs gently going back and forth on his cheeks. "You were sick, love. Really bad. Don't you remember?" Uther answered softly, he didn't stop his thumbs from brushing the skin under his pads, not even when Merlin softly shook his head.

Uther did briefly draw his eyebrows together in concentration. He didn't understand that Merlin didn't seemed to have any knowledge about what had happened to him for about a month. Perhaps it was a side effect of the transition, or maybe it was something completely else. But for now he was happy that his husband seemed to be like his old self and that was the most important thing for him.

But now he had to think about how to deliver the news about Merlin's new, err, transition. He swallowed deeply.

"Perhaps it's better if I'll get Gaius." Uther said, but when he turned away, Merlin gripped his wrists and held on tight.

"No, don't leave. Just – just tell me what happened."

"I – something has happened to you." At Merlin's silence, Uther continued. "Something that has to do with your Dragonlord powers."

Merlin frowned, deeply.

Uther knew there wouldn't be any easier way to say it, so he just did. "Some four weeks ago, you've started to get sick and we had no idea what the cause of it was, until Arthur and Gaius had found a book about Dragonlords," Uther pointed to the table where the book was still sitting, Merlin turned his head to look at where Uther was pointing and then turned his head back again to look at his husband, who was clearly struggling for the right kind of words.

"The book explains, that, Dragonlords go through some kind of transition after their thirtieth birthday. And that they –" Uther saw his husband looking at him with confusion and he swallowed again, "after the transition, they will be able to – tocarrychildren." He ended quickly and Merlin's confused look only seemed to deepen.

"Love?" Uther said softly after Merlin just stared in front of him. Uther brought his hands from Merlin's face to Merlin's hands.

"Did you just say that I'm… able to carry _children_?" He asked softly and Uther could only nod. Uther had no idea how Merlin would react to that revelation.

Merlin slipped off the bed and Uther let him, watching how Merlin went to the window and looking out of it. He let Merlin be with his thoughts, and only watched how Merlin kept staring out of the window for a long time. It wasn't until he saw his husband's shoulders go up and down in what seemed like from crying, that Uther hasted to his husband. When Merlin heard him come near, he turned around and embraced Uther tightly, burying his face into the broad chest.

"What is it, love?" Uther asked, his hands gently going up and down the slender man's back. Merlin slowly looked up, his eyes red from tears and wet streaks coming down onto his cheeks, but there was still a hint of happiness buried into those red eyes.

"Family." Was what Merlin said first, "We – we can start a family of our own. L-like we've always wanted too." He buried his head down at Uther's chest again and Uther still held him tightly.

"We might," Uther murmured, "we might."

But in the back of his mind he was scared to actually let that happened. The last time there was magic involved by conceiving Arthur, his wife had died. He couldn't get through that again, nor would he risk Merlin's life. No matter how much he would love to have a family of his own with Merlin, he just needed to be certain of how this whole 'conceiving thing' would progress for a Dragonlord, no sooner than that would he even _consider _trying such thin.

"But first, we need to let Gaius check you over. I _need _to know if you really are alright."

Merlin nodded slowly against his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Small chapter and it's mostly just a random sex scene, just fyi… and more fyi, I still suck at writing sex scenes. The rest of the story probably won't have any more 'graphic' sex scenes anymore, just mentions of it.**

* * *

><p>It has been nearly a week after Merlin's recovery and Merlin has picked up his normal every day-life routine. Merlin still had not complete control over his magic yet, he could only do minor things like lighting up a fire of draw the curtains away or close. But he was assured as he read the book that explained it should gradually come back in the following days.<p>

Gaius had done a physical examination and confirmed that Merlin's health was as good as it could be. He also confirmed that there had indeed formed an uterus of sorts and it had freaked Merlin completely out, but soon enough he calmed himself after reminding what good such thing could bring.

That night, Merlin had tried to engage intercourse with Uther to see if he could indeed conceive a child, but Uther had only wanted cuddling and kissing, and had brought Merlin only off by hand. Merlin was still unaware of Uther's thoughts about him able to conceive and put Uther's reluctance off as him wanting to be gentle. Because he _had _been sick for a good month.

But when four days after that day passed and Uther still pretty much refused to have sex with him, Merlin had become impatient and had confronted Uther about it. Only then Uther had explained with a heavy heart that he was afraid that Merlin would undergo the same fate as his late wife did and that was something he couldn't accept, nor get through again.

Merlin had understood, of course he had, but he also tried to reason with his husband that the circumstances at which Arthur was conceived were entirely different than what they would go through. For one, it was _his _instinctive magic and Dragonlord powers that would be involved which could create the child, not anyone else's who had different plans. There wouldn't be any disruption in the balance of nature.

When Merlin saw that there was still doubt in his husband's eyes, he had stormed out of the room and hadn't spoken to him for three days nor had he slept in their room together. Merlin had taken residence in one of the guest chambers.

And even now, when they had a council meeting, Merlin kept refusing eye contact and only spoke if it was really necessary for him to speak. It drove Uther insane and he just wanted to stop their fighting. After the meeting was done, Merlin was quick to get on his feet, but Uther had expected that already and was quicker and wrapped his fingers around Merlin's slender wrist.

Only when they were the only two left in the room, Uther began to speak. "Merlin, please talk to me."

Merlin just scoffed. "It's not _me _that is the problem here." He tried to get his hand free from Uther's, but Uther held a tight grip. Not too tight to cause damage or bruises though.

"Love, I was scared at first. You've got to see it from my perspective as well." Uther said softly. He had spent the past week with Gaius and figuring out how the conceiving would exactly form. There hadn't been many books with that information, but there were some and every recorded birth had been successful for both child and parent. It made him more at ease and he wanted to talk to his husband, but Merlin could be a stubborn man and refused to talk to him when he tried to.

Merlin did turn to Uther, his eyes slowly going up and for the first time in almost a week did they make eye contact. "I do," Merlin admitted. "It's just – Uther we have a chance to get a child of our own, why, _why, _aren't we taking that opportunity?"

"Merlin," Uther breathed out and he lessened his grip on Merlin's wrist. He knew now that Merlin wouldn't run out right away. "I – I was scared, as I said. But I've read into it with Gaius, and," Uther paused to breathe deeply in. There was a soft smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and he brought his hand to Merlin's where he started to softly caress Merlin's knuckles with his thumb. "I'm ready to try it." The look Uther saw on his husband's face, made it all worthwhile.

Merlin's eyes seemed to lit up and his beautiful smile was instantly on his face after being absent from it for a week. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around Uther and he started to softly cry out of happiness. After a few moments Merlin pulled back and crashed his lips against Uther's in a desperate kiss, his hands slid under Uther's shirt and his fingers brushed the still toned core muscles. Uther mewled softly, and broke the kiss.

"Not here," He said breathlessly.

"Yes here." Was Merlin's response and pushed Uther back in the throne like chair he always sat at during council meetings. One of Merlin's fantasies was to actually do it on the real throne in the throne room, but that was a thought for another day.

Merlin shed his clothes from below the waist easily and had no problems in manhandling his husband in a sitting position. He began to straddle Uther's legs and started to unfasten the ties of Uther's breeches. He heard the soft hitches of breathes his husband took and a soft hiss when Merlin wrapped his delicate fingers around Uther, gently stroking him into hardness. His other hand went behind him and he winced a little bit when he started to prep himself. On seeing that, Uther quickly claimed Merlin's lips again and tried to divert Merlin's attention.

Merlin moved himself up, not breaking the kiss and gingerly sunk down on Uther's cock. His breathing stopped for a moment and Uther broke the kiss himself to say soft reassurances and to distract himself from coming right that moment, after a week of waiting, he didn't want their moment to end too soon.

Merlin started to ride him, first gingerly, cautious, but then more bold and faster. He had missed their intimacy as well and although he would've loved to drag it out, he was desperate for release and grinded himself against Uther. His mouth open and his breathing heavy.

Neither of them lasted long and with a loud grunt, Uther came. He wrapped his fingers around Merlin and after three strokes, he came as well.

Merlin sagged against his husband's torso, sated and happy.


	6. Chapter 6

"So you and father are all good again?" Arthur asked as he handed Merlin a goblet of a water and sat down next to Merlin around the table in his room.

"We are." Merlin smiled widely.

"Good," Arthur said, "That's good."

"We made up several times actually over the past six days." Merlin added, hiding his grin behind the rim of his goblet as he watched Arthur's face screw up in disgust.

"_Mer_lin! It's bad enough you're my _stepfather, _giving me traumas about you and my father's…" He pulled an even disgusted face, "by the gods, I can't even say it. Change of subject. Will you start training with me again? I missed doing it for the past month."

"Hm-m! How about this afternoon? We can go after lunch, because I still have to speak to Kilgharrah before nightfall."

"Yes, this afternoon will be fine." Arthur answered.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin had beads of sweat rolling down his head, his breathing was fast and he was leaning heavily on the sword he had thrust into the ground. "Just – just five minutes." He panted and accepted a goblet of water from the squire.

Arthur watched his dear friend and he knew now how much his stamina had dropped tremendously in just under a month. He knew he had to take it easy, but he was completely surprised by _how _easy he actually had to take it. The last few routines were normally just a warm up for Merlin and he wouldn't even had one bead of sweat when done with those, but now he was completely exhausted. Arthur had to re-strategize Merlin's entire training.

"Merlin," Arthur called as he walked up to him. "I think it's best if we stop for today."

Merlin immediately straightened. "No, no. I'm fine." He tried to slow his breathing, but it was futile. Still he defiantly picked up his sword and put it out towards Arthur. "I can go for another round."

"Merlin, look at yourself. You're perspiring, your breathing is coming fast and I don't know what will happen if we continue."

"I don't want to disappoint Uther." Merlin strengthened his grip on his sword. "Come on." Merlin started his attack and swung his sword towards Arthur who blocked it with agile movements. Merlin turned again and started to advance once more, but Arthur averted the attack with little exertion. It went on for nearly five times until Merlin fell down onto his knees and his head bowed in shame.

"Merlin, it's alright." Arthur told his friend as he slid down onto his own knees. He held one soft hand on Merlin's shoulder and hoped it would calm Merlin down. "It's only understandable, Merlin. You haven't used your body at this kind of rate for over a month. It'll take time for you to be on your normal capacity again. Don't be too hard on yourself."

"I just want Uther to be proud of me." Merlin muttered.

"Oh Merlin," Arthur drew Merlin close for a hug. "He's proud, why don't you see that. The fact that you're alive means _everything _to him. Don't beat yourself up for something you had no control over." Arthur let Merlin go and held out his hand. "Come on, let's get some clean clothes on."

**~oOoOo~**

After Arthur brought Merlin back to his chambers, he went to his own and washed himself and put on some dry clean clothes. He was now walking through the castle corridors towards the Throne Room where a Council Meeting would take place.

"Arthur."

Arthur stopped and turned around to see his father coming towards him. "Father." He said with a small inclination with his head.

"How did the training go? I haven't seen Merlin since, so I couldn't ask him."

"Not as well as I thought it would be, father. Merlin has lost a lot of stamina and muscle capacity due to the sickness. It'll take us a while to have him back to his previous build again." After a pause, Arthur added, "He's really discouraged by it, father. He doesn't think you'll be proud of him now."

Uther was baffled. "But that's nonsense! Surely he knows better than that." After a moment's thought, Uther asked. "Arthur, will you be able to lead the Council? I have to speak to my husband."

Arthur bowed, "Of course, father."

**~oOoOo~**

Uther found his husband at the usual place whenever his husband wasn't feeling good or just wanted to be alone. The windowsill in the library. He saw his husband sitting there with a book in his lap, but he wasn't paying attention to it. Instead he glanced out of the window with his shoulders slumped. Uther quietly walked up to him, and softly cleared his throat to not entirely startle his husband.

Merlin turned his head, his eyes were red and there were some dried tear streaks on his cheeks. Uther looked with a sad expression at his husband before he perched down too on the sill. With his arm extended out towards his husband's face to wipe away the tears, he asked, "What's the matter, love?"

Merlin sniffed soft and then tried to put on his best smile. "It's nothing." He said and immediately changed the subject. "Weren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now?"

"How could I be, when my husband is sad about something?"

"I'm not important, Uther. Camelot is more important."

"No." Uther said turn. "You _are _important. To me, _to _Camelot." Uther watched his husband and wondered where this sudden turn-around came from. "Merlin, just tell me what is wrong."

"I'm weak, Uther."

"What?"

"I couldn't even finish training today, Uther. What if we get attacked? What if like my physical strength, my magic is also weak. I – I cannot lose you, nor Arthur." Merlin heaved a deep sigh at which Uther gathered Merlin into his arms.

"You're going to be alright, Merlin. You just need a little bit more time to get to your old self. And, we have plenty of forces to protect us for any kind of attack. We'll be alright, _you'll _be alright." Uther pressed a kiss on top of Merlin's hair and brushed his hand gingerly across Merlin's back until he heard Merlin's breathing evening out and when he looked down he saw his husband fast asleep.

With great care, Uther picked Merlin up and brought him to their room. He could use the sleep for now, and he would wake Merlin up in an hour or two, so he would have enough time to go to the clearing and talk to the Great Dragon. Apparently, he has some important news.

Uther had only seen the Great Dragon a handful of times. Kilgharrah still held him responsible for the deaths of his kin, and Merlin was there to try to change the Dragon's mind that Uther was a changed man. Still, Kilgharrah didn't want to do anything with Uther and so Uther wisely stayed away. It didn't stop the Dragon from channelling messages into Merlin's head though, and last night was the same, although Merlin explained to Uther that the Dragon told him that he wanted to see him in person.

**~oOoOo~**

Uther waited in Arthur's room for when he would come back from the meeting and when Arthur entered, he was surprised to see his father there.

"Father?"

Uther stood up from his place at the table. "Arthur, I want you to personally escort Merlin to the clearing. Take Leon and Lancelot with you too."

It wasn't uncommon for Merlin to have an escort, but usually it would be some random knights that would be on duty at that time, not any personally picked by the King.

"Of course, father. May I ask why?"

"Merlin is not feeling well about himself. I want him surrounded by people he _and _I trusts."

"I will gather them right away." Arthur bowed his head.

"Very well. I'll inform Merlin. He will be ready to ride out in an hour."

**~oOoOo~**

Leon, Merlin, Arthur and Lancelot watched as the dragon casted a dark shadow over them, before landing on the ground. Merlin the dismounted and walked through the small patch of trees before he stood in front of the Dragon. Even with his escort, he would talk alone with the Dragon.

"I am glad to see you passing the transition." Kilgharrah spoke after bowing his head.

"You and I." Merlin responded. "But what was so important that I had to specifically come here?"

"For something recent has ended which will start the beginning of the future, but with darkness looming over it."

Merlin groaned. "Why? Why always those riddles. Can't you speak normal?"

"Merlin," The beast growled. "I'm living since the beginning of time, and can see into the future. It isn't my task to tell what will happen, for that might change it. I can only confirm or not whenever the receiver figures it out."

Merlin refrained from eye-rolling and then began to think. "So, end. End, end, beginning, end." Merlin repeated several times more, letting the cogs in his head turn at full speed. "The only recent end I know is the end of that transition. But what does that have to do with the beginning of the –" Merlin's eyes widened, his hands touching his midsection gently. "Does this mean."

The Great Dragon bowed his head. "Yes, Merlin. You have conceived four days ago. But be aware, darkness looms. Heed my warnings, Dragonlord." With that said, the beast spread his wings and flew off.

"No!" Merlin screamed up to the sky. "No, tell me! What is it!"


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin began his walk back to the knights and his horse. In his head he was much to busy with repeating over and over what had just happened that he didn't noticed he was already at his horse until he heard Arthur speak.

"Hmm?" Merlin hummed.

"I asked if you were alright, because you don't look so well. Did Kilgharrah have some bad news?" Arthur asked.

Merlin put on his smile and shook his head, he was trying to avert attention away from him. "It was nothing." Merlin lied. "He just wanted to see if I was feeling well after the transition, which I am." Merlin mounted his steed and pulled the reigns tight. "So, let's go back home. It's starting to get dark." Merlin pushed his horse forward with his heels and galloped away.

The knights didn't say anything, but did share a concerned look at one another. They quickly followed Merlin, but couldn't catch up with him and when they arrived at the courtyard, Merlin had already handed his horse over to one of the stable hands. Now the knights became more concerned and were certain that Merlin hadn't told the whole truth to them, but it wasn't like they could force Merlin to tell them what exactly had happened in the clearing.

**~oOoOo~**

Merlin walked through the castle corridors, being greeted by many of the castle staff and knights and guards alike. He nodded absentmindedly to them and consciously tried to keep his hands away from his stomach. He knew Kilgharrah wouldn't lie about something like that to him, but it was still surreal to have indeed life growing inside of him. And then the warning… what could it mean? It was something he had feared from the moment he heard he could conceive, he was afraid that something would happen to his child.

That's why he decided to keep the pregnancy a secret for now, even for Uther. He wanted to tell the news _so _bad, but what if something would happen before the child could see the light? He couldn't put Uther through that. He couldn't disappoint his husband like that. And he also didn't want anyone else know that he was pregnant as it would draw too much attention to him, attention he didn't want because people might get the idea to harm his child.

He walked up towards his and Uther's chambers, as he knew that dinner would be served soon. He just hoped that he wouldn't get symptoms, like food cravings or having that dreadful nauseating feeling, as some new mothers complained about when they found out they were pregnant. If he would get any of those, it would ruin the fact that he want to keep it a secret, just until he knew it was safe to announce the news.

With a big smile to hide his fears Merlin opened the door to his chambers and found his husband already waiting for him and coming towards him to greet him with a deep kiss. Uther then grabbed his hand and brought him towards the table where servants were laying the last hand at their dinner. "And," Uther began once most of the servants left with just one or two hovering in the back for when Uther of Merlin needed something. "What news did the Dragon have that it was necessary for you to go to the clearing?"

"It was nothing." Merlin lied, again, gripping his husband's hand tight and offering him a smile. "He just wanted to see with his own eyes whether I was recovered. That's all." He took a big sniff in the air. "Mmm, this smells delicious, let's eat shall we?"

Luckily for him, Uther didn't press further and instead they started eating their dinner and held their conversations light such as talking about Uther's day and what mischief the knights had done.

**~oOoOo~**

Eight weeks later, Merlin had troubles in keeping his secret just that. A secret. He had started to get some light mood swings and experienced quite some morning sickness, but had miraculously managed to keep it from Uther's attention by slipping into the antechamber whenever he felt the urge to puke. He was convinced that Uther would think that he would go to the kitchens to fetch their breakfast, which he would do after he rinsed his mouth from the foul taste.

Just like now. He had purged not nearly thirty minutes ago and was now walking back from the kitchen with a tray filled with sweet breads and a variety of cheeses. But he soon felt his stomach rolling a bit again and he shifted the tray onto one hand and with the other he pressed against his stomach as he slowed his walking a little bit. "Just a little longer, little one. We're almost at my room." Merlin muttered to his stomach, knowing very well from his short time as Gaius' apprentice almost seven years ago that the baby would hardly be a baby at only eight weeks. Still, it felt like it had calmed him down just slightly.

With a deep breath of fresh air he continued his walk and when he rounded the corner he saw Arthur and Lancelot coming towards him, still dressed in full armour - Merlin suspected that they had just returned from an early patrol. He put on his biggest smile, despite him feeling nauseous.

"Morning, Arthur, Lancelot." He greeted as he passed them and got a greeting in return. Merlin walked quickly away from them, giving them little time to say anything else to him. He only looked briefly over his shoulder to confirm that they actually rounded the corner instead of following him.

He had done perhaps five more steps when his stomach churned again, but now much more violently and he felt that bile was already rising in his throat. He immediately let go of the tray that now clattered on the ground with a loud crash and pushed one hand against his mouth and the other one against his stomach, but it was futile. He turned his head and removed the hand from his mouth just in time before he began to puke onto the ground.

He hadn't heard Arthur and Lancelot rush to his side with swords drawn. They were walking through the corridors when they suddenly heard a loud crash from where they had just passed Merlin and thought Merlin might've been under attack and didn't hesitate a minute to rush to his aid. Only when they rounded the corner, they didn't saw an attacker but Merlin who was coughing his gut out so it seemed and Arthur immediately started to panic over the fact that the same thing three months back could be happening again.

"Merlin," Arthur put a hand on the small of Merlin's back, as Merlin was leaning heavily against a wall with one of his hands and heaving deeply. "Merlin, what's wrong. Are you ill?"

"Merlin, talk to me." Arthur pressed when Merlin didn't answer. He then turned to Lancelot. "Can you get Gaius, please?"

Lancelot nodded quick. "Of course." He said and rushed off after one last look at one of his closest friends.

"Merlin, tell me. Please!"

Merlin managed to calm his breathing and the nauseating feeling passes slowly. "It's nothing. Just, - no, it's nothing." Merlin straightened and grinned. Then he looked down at the food scattered all over the floor, not to say anything about the sick that was on the other side of him. He had begun to bent down to pick up some of the chards of the broken crockery, until Arthur heaved him up at his arm.

"Err, what exactly are you doing?"

"What does it looks like?" Merlin retorted, one eyebrow drawn up. "Cleaning up. I've made the mess after all."

"But you've – you've just thrown up!" Arthur replied, as if that would explain everything.

"I just ate a bit of food that fell the wrong way, Arthur. It happens." Merlin lied, but saw that Arthur was having none of it.

"Merlin, if you're getting sick again, then _tell _me." After a moment of silence, Arthur added, "Does father know?"

"No!" Merlin spoke a bit louder. Then cleared his throat. "No, Uther doesn't need to know."

"Merlin, why so secretive?" Arthur asked, his face looked full of hurt. "If there's something wrong with you, you need to tell us. We can't, we can't go through it again."

Merlin knew exactly what _it _was. He could only imagine how fearful Uther and Arthur must've been when they learnt that he was sick and didn't seem to get any better. Merlin smiled again and put a hand on Arthur's bicep. "It's really nothing bad." Merlin answered, and this time truthfully. It wasn't something bad, a new life was cause for celebration, but he just didn't want the news out just yet. Kilgharrah's warning still lingered in the back of his mind.

At the same time, Lancelot neared with Gaius in tow. Around Gaius' neck hung his medical bag. "Lancelot told me you were sick." Gaius eyed the evidence of that sickness on the floor. Then he looked back at Merlin. "I need to do an immediate examination." He stated as he looked around for a chamber he could use and spotted a guest room. "In there is best for now."

Merlin had little time to oppose as he was already pushed into the room by Lancelot and Gaius. It wasn't until he was lead to the bed he noticed that Arthur wasn't with them anymore and he could just think of where he was off too - to get Uther. Merlin grumbled softly, everyone should've just let him in peace. He would deal with the situation himself.

"So tell me what you did when you had to throw up." Gaius inquired, already shoving Merlin's tunic up to his armpits and prodding Merlin's stomach with his fingers. Merlin felt a sense of protection going through him and batted Gaius' hands away with a small growl.

"It's _nothing_." He hissed soft. "As I told Arthur already. Just ate some food that my stomach disagreed with, I guess."

"Uh-huh." Gaius' wasn't so quick to believe what Merlin had told him.

"And so it never appeared before?"

"No?" Merlin lied, but he knew he was caught when he heard the waver that bordered question-like, in his own voice.

That was the moment Uther had burst into the room, with Arthur right behind him and swiftly closing the door. Uther pushed Lancelot and Gaius aside and perched down at the side of the bed and immediately grabbing Merlin's hands into his own, kissing his knuckles one by one before saying, "Arthur told me you had been sick in the hallway. What's wrong, love?"

"It's nothing!" Merlin now yelled, frustrations having the upper hand. His secret was close at being found out. Tears already formed in his eyes, which Uther noticed and he turned to the three people standing next to the bed. "Can you give us a moment, please?" It wasn't so much an order but a question, and the three of them nodded their heads and moved out of the room.

"Merlin, I cannot bear if you get sick again. Please explain to me what you're feeling."

Merlin saw the desperation in Uther's eyes and he couldn't bear to see that look one second longer. He didn't know if he was ready to tell Uther, but at the same time he reasoned that he had withheld Uther from the pregnancy for two months already, and Uther had the _right _to know that he was going to be a father.

In the end his emotions won the upper hand and he chocked out, "I'm pregnant," before burying his head into Uther's chest. "Please, don't hate me." The words were muffled against Uther's chest.

Uther froze and wondered if he had heard it correctly. He looked down at his husband, his hands clinging with all his might at his tunic. "Merlin, it's okay." Uther said softly and tried to get his husband to look at him, which he eventually succeeded in. Uther smiled softly, but Merlin was still sniffling and crying. "I have watched you this past week and I wasn't sure." His smile widened, "but now I know." Uther bent forward to press a soft kiss against Merlin's temple and when he sat back again he saw Merlin looking at him with a little confusion on his face.

"Y-you k-knew?" He hiccupped.

"As I said, I wasn't sure." Uther answered, "But I had my suspicion. I saw you instinctively putting your hands on your stomach and whispering words to it when you thought no one was looking, and then there was the sneaking off at odd times and I put two and two together. But I thought you wanted to surprise me, so I waited for you to come to me with the news, not the other way around."

"You're not mad?" Merlin asked, his eyes looking down as he was too afraid for Uther's reaction.

"Mad?" Uther breathed out a laugh, and put one curled finger under Merlin's chin to lift his head up. "I'm – I'm _ecstatic!_" Uther placed one soft hand on Merlin's stomach as he bent forward to kiss his husband deeply on his lips.

Merlin melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Uther's broad shoulders. He knew in the back of his head that he had to tell Uther about what Kilgharrah had told him, but now he was content enough to share this happy moment with his husband.


	8. Chapter 8

"You okay now, love?" Uther cradled Merlin's head in his hands and wiped the few tears that were left away with his thumbs. He smiled at Merlin before leaning in for a soft kiss.

Merlin nodded in Uther's hands.

"But you must let Gaius examine you, please. I just want to know everything's okay."

"Alright." Merlin answered.

"And we also need to inform the people that they should expect a child in nine months." Uther added happily. His eyes shone with mirth.

"No we can't tell them!" Merlin said, panic in his voice and his hands gripping Uther's upper arms tightly. Then he lowered his head and softly added, "And it's just seven left."

"What? Why can't we tell the people, and what do you mean with just seven left?" He cocked his head and brought Merlin's head up again by putting a finger under Merlin's chin. "Love, what's the matter?" Uther added when he saw Merlin's eyes tearing up again.

Merlin breathed deeply in. "I'm two months pregnant." His bottom lip started to quiver. "I-I couldn't tell you. Kilgharrah, he spoke of how the new beginning would bring doom and I – I couldn't let you know until I was sure everything was alright, but I'm still unsure, you weren't even supposed to find out already. I just wanted to keep it a secret, just a little longer but –"

"Merlin," Uther said, but Merlin rambled on.

"- then Arthur and Lancelot saw me vomit and –"

"Merlin!" Uther said a bit louder and grabbed Merlin's hands in his. "Merlin, calm down and take a moment to breathe." Uther added when Merlin stopped talking for a minute and looked up at him. "Start from the beginning. When did the Dragon tell you this?"

"T-two months ago." Merlin took in a quivering breath. "It was in the week when we made up after we stopped our fighting. That day when I needed to go to the clearing."

Uther nodded his head, a tiny smile forming in the right corner of his mouth. He remembered them making up several times that week.

"I – I was just so scared." Merlin admitted. "He told me moments before confirming I was pregnant that with the new beginning there will also come doom, a-and I thought it was about the child, I was afraid I would lose it. I couldn't let you go through that, that's why I wanted to wait until I was sure." Merlin started to sniffle and one tear dripped down his cheek. "And now the secret is out. What if – what if people want to harm our child?" Merlin buried his head in his husband's chest and Uther brought up his hands, softly shushing him.

"Merlin, do you really think I let someone harm you, or our baby?"

"No." Merlin answered after letting himself calm down a little bit more.

"Merlin, I will do _everything _for you, you know that." He waited until he saw Merlin nod and then embraced Merlin tightly again.

"But we need to let everyone know. It will only make them more nervous if you're suddenly surrounded with knights. They will speculate and gossip and we both don't want that."

Uther sat back again and smiled at Merlin. "And don't you want to tell Arthur he's going to be a big brother? I'm sure if he hears about it he'll be your personal guard at all times." Uther shook his head in amusement.

"Alright." Merlin finally answered softly, looking down. Then he lifted his head. "Alright, let's tell them." He said again, more firmer this time and nodding his head.

"Good." Uther answered, bending forwards to press a gentle kiss on Merlin's forehead. "Then I'll let them in."

Uther got off the bed and opened to the door. When he opened them he was immediately met with Gaius, Lancelot and Arthur's concerned faces but he didn't tell them anything yet. Instead he opened the door a little more to let everyone in, before he closed it behind them again and took his spot next to Merlin. He looked at his husband first before turning to the trio.

"We have something to announce." He smiled broadly, while Merlin barely managed something more than a twitching of his lips. "Merlin is pregnant. Two months already."

A heavy silence fell, until after several moments the congratulations streamed in. Except from Arthur that was. He just stared blankly at the bed.

"Arthur?" Merlin called his name when he noticed that Arthur hadn't said anything.

"T-two months?"

Merlin nodded, his smile now widening.

"B-but we trained – oh god, what if I have…"

"Arthur, it's okay." Merlin quickly assured. "Hadn't you noticed I had a different stance?"

"Well, yes. I did, but I thought –" Arthur rubbed his forehead.

Merlin got off the bed to get to Arthur. "You have done nothing wrong. I made sure nothing would happen to the baby. To your sibling."

Arthur inhaled sharply, he hadn't even made that connection yet. His hand went towards Merlin's stomach, but he drew it back at the last moment. Merlin chuckled softly. "You can touch, if you want. It's just that there isn't much to feel as of now. That'll take another month or two I think."

Merlin looked at Gaius to confirm. "Maybe even another month." Gaius said, "Every pregnancy is different. Some mothers feel their child move eary while the other mothers feel it later."

"Merlin, may I examine you now? To ensure your and your child's health?" Gaius asked, and Merlin nodded. He then looked around him, silently asking with his eyes for some privacy. Uther noticed immediately and bustled his son and the knight out of the room before swiftly closing it behind him. Merlin then went to lie on the bed and scrunched his top up and let his old guardian examine him.

**~oOoOo~**

That night, Merlin and Uther were lying in their bed. Merlin had his head on Uther's shoulder and Uther had drawn his arm around him, keeping him close. Merlin had thought about everything that happened that day.

After Gaius was done and had told him that everything went as it was supposed to be, Uther had taken Merlin to a different room and had discussed yet again about the fact that they should inform the people, sooner rather than later. Merlin had finally yielded and said that there was no time like the present and so they immediately sent out some squires to tell the people there will be an announcement made within the hour.

The citadel was laden with people when Merlin and Uther walked onto the balcony overlooking the square and they were greeted with applause. Then Uther had stepped forward and announced the news of the pregnancy. People clapped even harder and were cheering and celebrating and Merlin let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. He was glad that the people took it well.

Uther also hadn't forgot about his promise and immediately set up groups of personal guards for Merlin that would rotate through the entire day. And as Uther had expected, Arthur had volunteered as well. Uther had told his son that he could be extra surveillance as he had usually other things to attend to during the day, which had made Arthur put on a grumpy face.

It had been a tiring day for Merlin. But he was happy that he could finally let go of the secret and could now enjoy his pregnancy in the fullest. But Kilgharrah's warning never strayed far from his mind.

"What you thinking off, love?" Uther's voice cut through his absent mind and Merlin briefly flicked his eyes up to meet Uther's before snuggling closer to his husband.

"Just about today." He answered curtly. Uther hummed then breathed in deeply.

"Just seven months left." He mumbled. "We need to start the preparations."

Merlin groaned softly. "Not now, enough time left." He looked back up to Uther and saw the calmness and serenity on his face, with a smile playing at his lips. "Why weren't you freaking out when I told you I was with child?" Merlin asked as he traced a pattern with his fingers on Uther's chest.

Uther chuckled. "Oh I was… when I first thought of the possibility about a week ago." He moved his head forward to kiss Merlin on his hair. "But I had time to adjust to it, and now I am just extremelyhappy."

Merlin nodded on Uther's chest. Sleep was already starting to claim him and he yawned loudly. Uther stroked his fingers gingerly up and down Merlin's arm. "Sleep, love. Tomorrow's another day."

* * *

><p><strong>So the secret is out, we can focus on the pregnancy and such.<strong>

**And here's a happy late Christmas from me! :)**


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